When Christians think of sin, what usually comes to mind? Adultery, stealing, lying—in other words, deliberate actions against God’s will. But oftentimes, sin is not so simple. Sin can work in the background, presenting itself only through subtle behaviors that harm one’s relationship with God. As students striving to grow in our faith, a particularly stealthy sin threatens us, one that disguises itself as excellence and piety but can wreak havoc on the spiritual life: perfectionism.
But perfectionism isn’t sinful, right? Jesus said, “You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48), so isn’t perfectionism just an effort to obey Christ? Not exactly. While rooted in a desire to please God and others, perfectionism encourages the idea that God’s love must be earned, that if we aren’t “perfect,” God will abandon us. This mindset leads to unrealistic expectations. We are fallen beings, but God wants to use our flaws to foster humility and increase our dependence on Him. However, perfectionism twists our perception of God. We turn his patience and forgiveness into harsh judgment, and our flaws become a source of shame.
Perfectionism also convinces us that we can, and must, do everything ourselves. While perseverance is an excellent quality, perfectionism is rooted in a deeper distrust of God that results in pride. Perfectionists often feel that they must maintain constant control over their lives, which causes them to turn to themselves instead of God. What begins as an attempt to follow Christ often becomes a source of self-absorption, and the perfectionist unknowingly damages their relationship with God.
Furthermore, when one tries to attain unrealistic perfection, every aspect of life poses the threat of becoming an idol. Perfectionism can appear in many fields—work, school, fitness—and while striving for excellence in these areas is inherently good, perfectionists often place a disordered importance on their worldly responsibilities. If “excellence” in a certain area requires neglecting spiritual habits and ignoring God, it isn’t excellence—it’s idolatry.
We’ve talked about perfectionism in a broad, outward sense, but any perfectionist knows that most of the battle exists within the mind. Perfectionism causes a constant over-analysis of all activities, including social interactions, daily tasks, and adherence to schedules. It’s only natural that a perfectionist with strong faith will begin to overthink their religious life. Disguised as holiness, spiritual perfectionism is one of the most difficult forms of perfectionism to notice, but it can be the most detrimental if left unchecked. From the outside, a spiritual perfectionist’s relationship with God looks rock-solid. They might have strong prayer habits, heavy involvement in their parish, and deep theological knowledge, but internally, they feel deeply disconnected with the Lord. They constantly question whether their worship is enough, which leaves them perpetually dissatisfied with their natural shortcomings. Spiritual perfectionists believe that their holiness is entirely dependent on their own actions, so they pridefully try to force themselves down the path of righteousness without letting God guide them. In trying to grow in holiness, spiritual perfectionists actually harm their relationship with God.
By now, it’s clear that perfectionism is inherently sinful. It stems from pride and mistrust in God and can lead to shame, idolatry, and spiritual disconnect. But how can we practically manage perfectionism while still striving for excellence? First, we need to ensure that our definition of perfection is correct. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity” (CCC 2013). The Catechism acknowledges that Jesus calls us to perfection, but it specifies that perfection means a “perfection of charity.” This makes sense when we look at Christ’s life. The most perfect man in history didn’t get straight A’s. He didn’t have an illustrious job resume, and he didn’t follow a meticulously planned workout routine. Jesus was perfect because he fostered a loving relationship with his Father and carried out his ministry in accordance with God’s will. St Paul writes, “Whatever your task, work heartily, as serving the Lord and not men” (Colossians 3:23). In every day and age, a life of perfection means living charitably towards God and humbly following His guidance, not our own.
We must also recognize that perfectionism is a spectrum, and everybody experiences it differently. Performing an examination of conscience or spending time in prayer are great options to address where perfectionism may be affecting your life. Once we identify areas that need to change, a useful tool is to apply practical advice from holy resources. Numerous texts, videos, and podcasts cover the topic of perfectionism and provide valuable solutions. In an Ascension Presents video, Fr. Mike Schmitz teaches about true excellence, which is comprised of “promptness and preparedness,” not an unattainable perfection. Living a life of promptness does not only mean arriving at events and completing tasks on time. It includes praying when it’s time to pray, working when it’s time to work, relaxing when it’s time to relax, and sleeping when it’s time to sleep. For preparedness, an excellent individual puts an appropriate amount of time and effort into tasks. This requires a humble evaluation of one’s capacities in order to set realistic expectations. An eight-year-old child could prepare for a piano recital equally as much as Beethoven, but the two performances would sound drastically different. Preparedness teaches us to evaluate our excellence based on effort, not outcomes. The principles of promptness and preparedness can be applied to every aspect of our lives. For example, excellence in the work setting means showing up on time, dedicating an adequate amount of effort to projects, and enjoying leisure when it’s time to clock out. Evaluating our lives in terms of these principles uses realistic benchmarks, not perfectionism, to simplify our tasks while still preventing complacency.
Even after recognizing perfectionism as a problem and learning preventative strategies, the process of healing from perfectionist tendencies requires time and grace, so prayer is an essential tool. We must also be humble enough to make mistakes. Humans are imperfect beings, and we will undoubtedly stumble. Living rigid lives and trying hopelessly to avoid inevitable errors will only bring unhappiness and despair. If we’re willing to learn from our mistakes, we shouldn’t be afraid to screw up. Most importantly, we must constantly remember God’s unconditional love for us. Perfectionism makes us question our value, but Jesus’ sacrifice reminds us that our errors do not exclude us from God’s eternal love. Jesus himself tells the Pharisees, “Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matthew 9:13). Jesus is calling each of us individually, and with the stress of finals weighing heavy on our hearts, we must answer Christ and allow God’s grace to lead us to true holiness.